Private message to Rory
Nov. 22nd, 2011 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_rabastanI don't suppose you could spare an hour or two tonight? It doesn't matter the hour.
Had myself a lot of tossing and turning last night. Even opened the firewhisky, but that didn't seem to help. Harry asked me a question but I'm not sure the answer I gave was the right one. Not a "what's the best strategy for defending yourself against a dragon?" type of question, either. Or even a "what do these wet sheets in the morning mean?" question. A real question.
Being a role-model and shaping the minds of future generations is harder than it looks. And my supposedly "well-honed" instincts are shoddier than I thought (a good deal shoddier than anyone suspects, that much is for certain). When I volunteered for head of Harry's personal security, I reckoned it would be a fairly straight-forward task- keep the kid clear of anyone or thing that might hurt him, and that's that. Cos anyone who'd try to hurt a kid, no matter their cause, would have it coming, yeah. But he's being hurt now, even if it's not in a life-threatening way, and the one doing the hurting isn't a person but a complex web of different elements that I suspect also includes me.
Not sure there's anything I can do about it, though.
Had myself a lot of tossing and turning last night. Even opened the firewhisky, but that didn't seem to help. Harry asked me a question but I'm not sure the answer I gave was the right one. Not a "what's the best strategy for defending yourself against a dragon?" type of question, either. Or even a "what do these wet sheets in the morning mean?" question. A real question.
Being a role-model and shaping the minds of future generations is harder than it looks. And my supposedly "well-honed" instincts are shoddier than I thought (a good deal shoddier than anyone suspects, that much is for certain). When I volunteered for head of Harry's personal security, I reckoned it would be a fairly straight-forward task- keep the kid clear of anyone or thing that might hurt him, and that's that. Cos anyone who'd try to hurt a kid, no matter their cause, would have it coming, yeah. But he's being hurt now, even if it's not in a life-threatening way, and the one doing the hurting isn't a person but a complex web of different elements that I suspect also includes me.
Not sure there's anything I can do about it, though.