Private message to Harry Marvolo

[alt_rabastan]

Hey you,

From some of the looks flying between you and Draco (or not flying, since you both seem to be avoiding eye contact) and the absence of Granger, I gather there was a bit of fall-out after the task. Lucius filled me in a bit, too.

I'm sorry that had to happen.

I know a thing or two about wanting to do one thing, but being told you should do another. So if you ever want to have a good whinge some time, I'll put in an ear. Or we could just start preparing for Task 2, if that'd be a better distraction. I don't know how much advise I can give you when it comes to the things your Father demands of you, but I'm always willing to give it a go, just the same.

That's it. Keep your chin up.

Comments

[alt_harry]

Hi back.

Thanks.

I think I'd like to prepare for Task 2. Yeah.

I understand why Mr Malfoy reacted the way he did. It was something everyone would look at and talk about. And yeah. We're trying to make a good impression and all. And it's my responsibility.

But it's sort of

I don't know.

I guess it's sort of that even though I did the best I could, it still wasn't good enough. I can be in the middle of fighting a dragon and all they pay attention to is that my mudblood wasn't proper. And that everyone can be all happy about what I did except for me. And Draco. And And it's hard sometimes. Like you said. To do something for someone else, and not for me.

I was supposed to crucio her.

I couldn't. Not the way he wanted. Because I didn't feel what we're supposed to feel, like they talk about in Dark Arts. I mean, when it's just rats and all, it's fine. But not someone that I'm

supposed to be responsible for.

And he wants me to practice.

Did you ever have to do something even if

you know

you really didn't want to?

And you knew you were supposed to want to? Sort of. I don't know.

It's all my fault.

[alt_rabastan]

I think you know that it's not about Granger getting out of line while you were busy fighting dragons, it's that Lucius has come to see that you don't really treat her as a servant. I know she fetches your things like a servant would, but there's a familiarity there that he finds troubling. Now, I've always thought it was a bit wrong-headed to give you and Draco mudbloods that were so close to your own age and a girl, at that. Bound to be pretty confusing, I expect.

But then it goes beyond the matter of being familiar, and turns into territory of station and propriety. Much as you don't like it, you're an emblem of the Lord to your peers, and if you behave as if, well, your servant is actually your friend, then it's going to send a certain message, if you see what I mean. And it's a message that's not at all in line with what your Father stands for.

I know that the expectations that come with being our Lord's son can be a burden sometimes. Same goes for those who are born into royalty, or into distinguished lineage of any kind. I'm sure there's plenty of times when you wish you were someone else, part of some respectable but otherwise un-noteworthy family, so that you could just play quidditch keep your nose more or less clean and have that be enough to make everyone happy.

But wishing won't change things as they are. Your Granger probably wishes she weren't born to her station, either, but wishing's no good there, either. You both have to make the best of the situation you are in, and it will go much better for you if you can assure Lucius (and, by proxy, your Father) that you are comfortable disciplining her; because otherwise, they'll discipline her for you, and I know you don't want that to happen.

You'd be surprised at how far you can go if others simply have confidence in you. And if you can prove yourself to them in ways that matter, they tend to let you on your way, confident that you will continue to act in ways that meet with their approval.

And to answer your question: Yes, I've done things that I didn't want to, while fully knowing that they were things I was supposed to want to do. Then later, I actually did want to do those things. For a while.

[alt_harry]

So do you think I'm supposed to want

Whate

Okay.

I know what I have to do.

And I know what I did wrong.

Let's just practise for the second task.

[alt_rabastan]

I wish you didn't have to do it. I really do. If I could see a way around it, I'd tell you, but I can't. I'm sorry that I can't do that for you.

I've been where you've been. Not in exactly the same way or under the same circumstances, but... if you can get through it just this once, we can work on avoiding it happening again in the future.

[alt_harry]

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.




That would be good.

[alt_rabastan]

We probably should get cracking on that second task though, eh? Now that egg...I don't think it was meant to be a prize of any sort, so we should probably have a good look at it and see what's what. Bring it along to our next session?

[alt_harry]

Sure.

I opened it up, but it started screeching loud, so I closed it.