Private message to Aurora Sinistra

[alt_rabastan]

Rory -

You up for a chat?

- Raz




Soz, I was going to leave it like that, but it's hardly inviting, is it? Neither of us have seen much of each other lately, and, well, I know that there's a lot of reasons that I'm lying low. That Word Has It list of bachelors was printed and the avalanche of attention that followed had me scurrying for cover. Then there was the row with Gwe Professor Acton, her walking off the Duelling Club...

None of it has a thing to do with you, but then again I reckon it does, because, ah, I've been a bit worried that your opinion of me, meagre as it may have been before, might have further suffered. I asked you for advice on how to avoid Gwen's attentions, when I wasn't being completely forthright and truthful about what had happened with her. Now I wouldn't blame you if you think me some heart-stomping lothario who enjoys giving some poor spinster a little bit of hope before snatching it away. The truth is more complicated than that, but I'm not exactly proud of myself, either.

When you can have anything you want, at any time, it can become very difficult to say No. Or to make the right choice. I'm usually much better about doing so, but even in the past there was always an easy escape route, a whole New London to disappear into, like my stall at Borough Market, or Hampstead Heath (good for flying). I'm not even just talking about women, but escaping other things, too. But I'm probably not making much sense, am I? Blast, I should have written this out and practised first.

Anyway, I hope we can have that chat. I'd like to. I hope you are doing well.

Comments

[alt_sinistra]

Raz -

Well.

Yes, we should talk, shouldn't we?

Oh, Merlin. I've drafted a couple of versions of this on scrap paper, and I think I'm just going to be blunt. I don't have designs on you, nor do I have any right to expect your attentions - I know perfectly well I'm not nearly in your league in any number of ways. So I'm scarcely going to be jealous of your sharing your time with someone else.

What I do resent, though, is being asked to cover for you, when that changes my relationships with friends: Poppy and Pomona in particular. It comes just too close to too many unpleasant moments in my own school days (and the rounds of that list this week haven't helped with that. Too many raw edges in my memories.)

And, in general, I think it's better if both parties agree on what the limits of the relationship are. Whatever else happened with Acton, it's pretty clear that your idea and her idea didn't meet in the middle, as it were. I'd have thought you'd a better eye for tactics than that, somehow. But that's all I'm going to say about that, unless you ask me. You're an adult, and you get to make your own decisions, and all that.

So. What do we do now?

I do enjoy your company, and I've missed our conversations and a chance for a drink in Hogsmeade, and like so many of my house, I deeply value loyalty and friendship once given. And yes, that includes you. Though I'm not quite sure when that happened.

So, yes, let's chat, and see what we can sort out.

But at the same time, I'd be ... foolish to damage my friendships here, especially since, well, who knows what you'll be doing in a year, or five years, while this is likely the place I'll be for a good time to come. And while it's possible to avoid Acton, the prospect of ducking her in the hallway and at meals for decades is not precisely appealing. So if we are going to continue to do things like go for a drink together, it seems like figuring out a way to smooth things over a bit might be worth the time.

I'm here through Sunday morning but mostly taken up with this observation project (unless you really want to climb the Astronomy tower and stand out in the cold while I make notes), then will be up in New London through Tuesday, and then back here, except for Christmas with my family. (Out of self-preservation, I plan to show up on Christmas eve, and depart Boxing Day morning. I love my family, but they're a bit much all together.)

Rory

[alt_rabastan]

I apologise for using you to hide from Gwen, especially that it meant you had to involve your friends. I can honestly say that it wasn't my intent to cause harm, but if you feel or felt resentment then I honestly am sorry. I hope that the situation didn't affect your friendships with either of them.

Everyone always expects me to have brilliant tactics, but I'm as human as they come, I'm afraid. And I was straight with Gwen but I think that she thought I would...change my mind about her. If I'd taken time to get to know her better, first, I would have figured out she isn't the sort of woman who does anything casually. That said, I don't think you have to worry about experiencing any trouble from her end. She's stopped whirling around and marching in the opposite direction when she sees me, at least.

(I'm pretty sure that Dawlish fancies Gwen, too - he kept asking me about her. Now that'll be a change, eh? Someone chasing her for once...she'll love it. I even gave him some tips. A new found romance might put her in better spirits, you think?)

Bloody Erebus, I'm so glad you're still speaking to me that I'm not even offended to learn you've got absolutely no designs on me! Don't talk that rubbish about being "out of my league," though, because on my end it's quite the reverse. You're an exceptional person, Rory, and I'm glad that you consider me a friend.

As for what we do now, a drink sounds good.

[alt_sinistra]

Raz -

Fortunately, both of them are old enough that there's a certain amount of tolerance at the follies of youth. (Especially, as in this case, when the follies do not require them to patch one up, mend broken objects, or spend absurd amount of times dealing with cleaning unpleasant things.) But I'd prefer not to repeat that process.

Putting Dawlish onto her might solve a great many problems. I'm glad to hear she's no longer storming in the opposite direction pointedly as soon as she sees you. Perhaps she will stop glaring at me over my plate next time I'm actually down for a meal when she is.

As to the rest of it - well, part of it's nerves. I am, as you might have seen, apparently having lunch, somewhere in public, with your sister-in-law on Tuesday, and part of me is currently quite convinced that nothing I own is suitable, I will make some stupid comment that will reflect badly on me and my family, and that I will use not only the wrong fork, but the wrong knife, spoon, and door to the restaurant. And again, that foolish list raised some memories I'd rather have had left alone.

The more rational part of me is quite aware that none of these things are likely, that I have perfectly good manners, and that one can buy new robes (which I intend to do while in town), but there you have it. We are not fully rational beings. You now, perhaps, understand why I am fond of stars, which are largely predictable, and a long way away even when they are not.

I need to be back Saturday evening for some measurements for this project, but a drink and a chat before that might do. If not, sometime next week, once I'm back?

[alt_rabastan]

Understood. I'll make sure that you don't have to repeat it.

As to your lunch with Narcissa, the door to the restaurant that everyone else is using is probably the one you want to use, too, I'd think! For cutlery you always start from the outside and work your way in. Order something to eat that isn't too heavy. Fresh and healthy would do better - something similar to but not exactly the same as what Narcissa orders.

Let Narcissa take the lead in the conversation - just be yourself and answer naturally. Compliment her robes or hair if you are honestly moved to do so, but don't try to force one out of nowhere. Same thing if Draco comes up - if you've got something true and kind to say about him, pass it along. You probably don't need to be told any of this, though; I myself have found you to be an extremely thoughtful conversationalist.

If you turn out in something smart, tailored, and not too flashy, that should do nicely. Well-groomed too, of course, but you don't need to look as if you're swanning off to the opera.

And now let's hope I haven't gone and overwhelmed you. People are pretty predictable, too, once you've known them a while, and I've known Narcissa for yonks.

I'll be here on Saturday. If you get a chance, let's meet up. If not, I'm sure to be around when you're back.

[alt_sinistra]

Much thanks for the confidence. As I said, the rational part of me knows I'm reasonably presentable.

My family's much more the 'everyone crowd round the kitchen table' type, if you know what I mean. Mum made sure we had good manners, and all that, and that we know how to dress and what topics to avoid or touch on, and all that. But in practice, at home, it all sort of goes out the window.

And here, well, it's such an usual setting. There are the formalities between teachers and students, but as you've seen yourself, most of the rest of it is making do with what you can. It does leave some skills rusty.

I've been amusing myself today in my free blocks finishing up my shopping lists. Mostly books, I think, this year, with a few other bits and pieces for my younger nieces and nephews.

[alt_rabastan]

Yeah...everything was always pretty proper in my family, but then I got into pro quidditch and life with the Falcons made me all rough around the edges. Now I get to be the amusing and uncouth life of the gentry gatherings. Mind, I still know how to get my robes properly fitted and how to waltz and all, when I need to.

You're ahead of me. I haven't gotten any shopping done, and haven't even started thinking about lists. My usual method is to show up at the shops and play it by ear, risky as that may be. Sometimes I make gifts, too. This year, I might just turn round and wrap up some of these packages that were sent to me when that article came out. Tacky, but I'd only do it in the case of people I don't know very well, and then at least I'd know some of this stuff was going to use.